Turn out the lights, Bubba the Buyer is Dead
This is an exerpt from a recent Tommy Gibbs’ ZingerTurn out the Lights; Bubba the Buyer is Dead…
Bubba the used car buyer died today. Actually, he’s been dying a slow death for about 10 years, but the market finally killed him (or her, whatever). It was a slow death and he just didn’t want to go. Kind of like my 14 year old Labrador retriever, Sidney, that we had to put to sleep a few years ago. As the vet said, Labs love people so much, they just won’t let go and die on their own regardless of how sick they are. Your buyer has fallen prey to that same sort of thing. He loved those cars so much he just didn’t want to let go. He loved the smell, the touch, the pretty colors, the eyes those cars had, the sound they made, and the gross he fantasized about. But finally, he’s dead. Yes finally.
Just in case you missed it, Curt Schilling of the Boston Red Sox retired on Monday. Guess how he announced it? On his blog. No news conference, no tears, no regrets. Lance Armstrong, 7 time winner of the Tour de France, broke his collarbone in a race in Spain. Guess how the story got out? He Twittered it. If you haven’t read a blog or if you don’t know what Twitter is then you may have Bubba’s disease and your days may be numbered.
Many of you are buying cars just like Bubba was doing; the old fashioned way. The gut check way. The, I think I can make it work, way. The, I just have a feeling about this car, way. The, I’m going to ask a few sales people what they think they need, way. The, I can out bid you, way. The, I’m smarter than technology, way.
Do me a favor, actually do yourself a favor. Check real quick and tell me if your used car inventory is more than 50% of your own brand? If it is, do you mind if I call you Bubba? You’re dying and the Dr. just hasn’t told you yet. Dr. Gibbs just told you. Since I’ve diagnosed your impending death, and I care about you, I think I can save your life if you will take the medicine I’m going to write you a prescription for.
First: I want you to take a daily dose of Dale Pollak’s vAuto Stocking tool. Take it daily for the next 90 days. Do not deviate from the directions on the bottle. This is high tech medicine and guaranteed to change your life, but only if you take it daily.
Second: If you are going to compete in today’s market you have to understand the role the Internet is playing in your business. Dale Pollak’s vAuto Pricing tool will you allow you to position your vehicles in the marketplace and take advantage of the massive business the Internet can bring to your door. How does a Ford dealer in IL sell more used BMWs than the local BMW dealer sells new and used combined? By taking advantage of the technology that’s available… that’s how.
Inside the pill box there will be a pamphlet that will fully explain the benefits and side effects. If you miss a day, simply take two pills the next day and you will be back on track to a full recovery.
Third: You have to get off your diet of being the top dog in average gross profit. Your new diet shall consist of understanding that turn is more important than the average gross. You’ve heard the term “burn, baby burn.” Your new term will now be “turn baby, turn.”
Fourth: I want to teach you SETS & SUBSETS and I’m so interested in your recovery that I will charge you nothing to teach it to you. Since my schedule is so busy with other patients you will have to call me to schedule a time when we can do a conference call. If you are already doing SETS and SUBSETS then you should still call me. I will give you free tips on how to make it better.
See, Bubba would have mixed bourbon with honey and figured it would fix his problem, but as we know Bubba was dead wrong. You and I can save your life, but you have to take the medicine and some of you would rather die than change. Rest in peace, that’s all I’m gonna say.
P.S. I don’t work for Dale Pollak and vAuto, but I like their stuff. The fact of the matter is I don’t care whose software you use, I just care that you use it in order to maximize your potential.